What’s up folks, it’s your buddy Lusabara checking in with you and today I want to talk about a game-changing mindset shift I think you need to make. For so long in this business, I know I struggled trying to get everyone to like me. Constantly worrying “what will people think if I do this?” or avoiding any conflict at all costs. But I realized something – when you try to please everyone, you please no one, including yourself!
It took me a long time to learn this lesson and I want to spare you guys the same struggle. So in this training, I’m going to explain why keeping others approval should NOT be your goal. I’ll reveal a much more freeing way to operate that still treats people with respect, but puts YOU first. Stick with me because this one change will not only increase your confidence tenfold, but will make you way more effective at growing your business too.
Let’s start with WHY trying to please everyone sabotages your success. So many of us were raised being told things like, “don’t rock the boat” and “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. For years, I took that to heart and always tried mimicking what I thought others wanted from me. But you know what happens when you do that? Eventually it’s like you lose your identity, your sense of self.
You stop standing for anything truly meaningful because you’re too busy worrying what someone else might think. I call it “people-pleasing paranoia” – and believe me it’s no way to live! It’s mentally and emotionally draining trying to anticipate and fulfill everyone’s preferences all the time. Not to mention it’s impossible, since people’s opinions will always differ anyways. You just can’t win!
Worst of all, when you lack confidence in who you are and what you believe, it severely hurts your leadership. How can others trust and follow someone who doesn’t even seem sure of themselves? How can YOU be excited about your vision if deep down you’re just carrying out what you think others want? It’s all inauthentic.
I realized I needed to start living FOR me, not to please random opinions. And that’s when everything changed! It was so liberating to stop giving power to others judgments. I could step into my big ol’ self knowing I am worthy no matter what anyone else says or thinks or feels about me. And you know the crazy thing? People actually started respecting me MORE.
Which brings me to my next point – focusing on pleasing everyone actually diminishes how people view you. Here’s what I mean: When you come across waffling and lacking backbone, always hedging to make sure no one gets upset, it makes you appear weak and unreliable. It’s seen as a lack of leadership. But when you stand firm in your beliefs even if it’s controversial and you stop tip-toeing to avoid ruffling feathers, something magical happens.
People gain a newfound respect. They see you as someone strong yet fair, with integrity. They know you’ll stand up for what’s right rather than just go with the crowd to avoid temporary discomfort. And believe me, that trait is so valuable in recruiting and helping grow your business. When prospects see you believe in yourself and your vision so solidly, they want to get behind that.
It’s easy to forget that you attract more flies with honey than vinegar, but confidence IS key. And confidence doesn’t mean being rude or obnoxious – it simply means living your truth authentically without hiding pieces to suit others. In fact, true confidence allows you to speak your mind while still hearing others out. It gives you poise to have difficult conversations or stand your ground when needed.
This all goes back to CHOOSING YOURSELF first before trying to please fickle public opinions. Here’s another reason WHY putting you first is so vital: If you lose your passion and flame for your business, if you cave under pressure and start doubting your goals and vision – what good are you to your team and customers then? If being a leader means losing sight of why you began and who you want to be, then it’s simply not worth it!
Your ability to help and inspire others hinges on maintaining that inner fire. Being firmly grounded in self-belief has to come before checking off everyone’s approval boxes. When you put YOU first – with your purpose, principles and sense of self-worth not defined by outsiders – then YOU stay happy, confident and empowered to really make a difference. Otherwise, you get burnt out trying to control perceptions that are out of your hands anyway!
It’s time to stop letting fear of what others may say dictate your choices and actions. The reality is you cannot control anyone else, you can only control yourself and your reaction. You have to care more about living an intentional, authentic life than you do about seeking validation from people who don’t truly see your whole self anyway.
It helps to remember that not everyone has to like you in order for you to win at life. It’s unrealistic to think pleasing everyone is possible. But living YOUR truth with honesty and integrity? That’s where real fulfillment comes from and that’s what inspires the types of teammates and customers you want around longterm. You’ll go way further by surrounding yourself with people who support your journey rather than knock you down for not being fake-perfect.
So choose your circle wisely. Value the opinions of those closest to you who know you best. Put stock in feedback from leaders you highly respect. But otherwise, you don’t need strangers validation. Stay true to your mission and principles, and let that confidence attract like-minded souls without forcing anything artificial to please crowds along the way. It’s so liberating once you adopt this mindset!
With that said, embodying confidence doesn’t mean being selfish or arrogant either. You can still approach others compassionately by acknowledging different viewpoints exist while holding firm to your own. It’s about self-assurance, not self-importance. With practice, you’ll get better at having challenging talks with care, respect and poise. But never sacrifice your truth just to avoid ruffling feathers.
In the end, the one constant in life you can fully control is YOU. Your growth, your happiness, your resilience through ups and downs – that starts from the inside out by valuing yourself most of all. Once you adopt that philosophy of living purposefully for YOU above all others, a whole new world opens up and your potential knows no bounds!
I want this level of freedom and fulfillment for you all. So let go of approval-seeking. Place your worth in who you are, not random judgments. Have difficult conversations with grace. Stand tall for what you believe. You’ll gain way more respect, build lasting connections with those that matter most, and massively grow your leadership presence and business along the way.
You’ve got this team! Now go out there and rock your world on your terms from a place of self-love. I can’t wait to see the giant strides you each take. Keep me posted on your wins because there\’s no stopping you once you stop letting fear rule your choices. Let’s do this!
Talk soon,
Lusabara
